Meat Meat Meat! (Thank you Thailand!)

This week skidded by with minimal effort, yet my feet have me wondering whether I have been cutting laps of Elgar Park in my sleep... Perhaps I should have eased my tootsies back into the world of shoes gradually, after two weeks of sandal-toting. Instead, I jumped back into my routine of extremes - walking to work in my Vibram KSOs, then switching into socks and high-heeled boots for my active day as a Drama & English teacher, then back into the KSOs for the mid-afternoon strut into the sunset. Multiply that by five, and you have two throbbing soles and some mild pickling... Well, not so much the latter, but my toes sure crave fresh air at the end of the day!

So now that we've covered the topic of foot fungus, let's look at what I ate today:

While the scales are indicating that I'm shedding the Thailand water-weight efficiently, there's still a bit of a difference between my pre-holiday weight and today's reading. But I'm feeling almost completely detoxified, thanks to being in control of what I eat once more. I had to take a bit of a risk at lunchtime though...

Breakfast: Scotch fillet steak ($5), with a bit of bacon and butter


I decided to celebrate the end of the stressful first week of term by taking myself out to the highly-anticipated (by me) flick, Julie & Julia, straight after school. I was fore-warned that it would make me hungry, and as the running time would overlap my usual dinner time, I decided to go to Village Gold Class and order the Wagyu beef burger with bacon and cheese, hold the bun and tomato relish. It turned up as four teeny but tasty patties (probably with some flour, boo), a fleck of cheese sticking the super-thin bacon to the top of the patty. And then - a limp, pathetic lettuce leaf on each one!? Ick. The food was brought to my ultra-comfortable recliner about 20 minutes into the movie, so taking a photo was awkward and rude - I tried to exercise discretion by placing the food by my feet and aiming the flash into the floor until the last minute... I think I got away with it - I just wish the shot was a bit cleaner. At least I had the pleasure of being tickled by the coincidence of preparing for food blogging whilst watching a movie about a food blogger! A wonderful movie, by the way - I was grinning for almost all of it, and watching out for primal-esque recipes... Hello, lobster!


Since I was at the shopping centre, I swung by the seafood vendor and spied some massive, whole squid, and some cute little whole calamari... So I, of course, wimped out and bought a few squid tubes! Next time I'll give cleaning a whole squid a shot, especially at only $4.50/kg. The tubes were closer to $12/kg, so the portion I cut up and fried in butter and garlic for myself cost me around $5 in all:



Just like being back at Little Tiger in Thailand, except without the beautiful sunset...

Without factoring in the wildly over-priced mini-burgers at the cinema, I ate $10 worth of meat today. I'll be taking a trip to the organic butcher tomorrow morning to stock up on lamb forequarter chops ($16/kg) and maybe a roast... I'm looking forward to whipping up my next inspired-by-Thailand meal: beef a la Tyrolienne!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 12

The last day!

The last breakfast!


We were kicked out of our room at noon, so we checked our luggage at the front desk, and set up shop in the restaurant overlooking both the pool and the beach, and tried to pass the time with episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The beau also began drawing my new banner image for this blog - keep an eye out! He's not done yet... We took a break for lunch - another bun-free beef burger:


More lounging and killing time, until the sun started to set, signalling that it was time for our last ever meal at Little Tiger! What did I order?


The scene was as gorgeous as ever, albeit with a couple of ominous clouds on the horizon...


Then the clouds became even more ominous...


Things began to happen very fast - the staff at Little Tiger quickly ushered us in from our open-air table, as we watched the rain hustling its was towards us with devastating speed! We were barely under cover before wild winds and harsh rain battered the tiny bar, threatening to whip the plastic pull-down blinds clear from the edges of the building! We sat and tried to avoid leaky spots in the roof, waiting for the weather to calm down. We had half an hour before our ride was due to collect us from the resort and take us to the airport... Luck was on our side, thank goodness, and as the rain cleared we made our way back to the foyer of the resort, before being escorted through Patong for the last time, finally arriving at the airport.

I was keen to find a suitably carnivorous snack to help me cope with the overnight journey, since no food served on board was remotely primal. Here's what I came up with:



Well, the Pop Pork was coated in sugar, so I only ate a couple of them, and upon opening the fried squid, I lost my appetite completely. Talk about a stink! Think seaweedy beach stank... Ew! It's a shame that that was my final 'new' Thai experience! But I have lots of memorabilia of happier moments, such as my gorgeous necklace!

I barely slept on the plane, so when we reached Sydney I was tired and hungry! We went back to the Italian restaurant we had stopped at on our first visit to the Sydney International Terminal - another steak, please, hold the fries!


And before we knew it, we were on the plane back home to Melbourne. So sawasdee Thailand - maybe we'll be back one day...

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 11

A busy day - the beau wanted to run through his presentation in private, so I busied myself away from the room.

But first, breakfast - mine:


His:


Then I went for two hours of massage in one of the beach shacks - two hours for $15? Yes please!

Then to the resort spa for an eyebrow wax and a fresh manicure - nice, but not nearly as detailed as the beach girls did. In fact, the first lot of polish flowers were so bad, that I had to get them done again, by a different therapist!


The beau met me for lunch - beef burger time, with egg, bacon and cheese (or a slice of something cheese-esque). Ignored the bun, of course!


We then played paparazzi, taking shots of the resort and each other, getting lots of close-ups of the very exotic flowers growing everywhere in the pool area. Here's a shot from the island in the centre of our pool - spa, crazy palm plants, animal fountain statues... What more could you want?!


All manner of wildlife made their way into the corridors between the pools and the rooms during our stay, but this little guy was certainly cuter than any of the lizards, dragonflies, and giant butterflies...


Aww!

Our last dinner at the resort - Mongolian BBQ! Oh my goodness! DIY stir-fry - pick your carbs, meats, and condiments, give it to the chef who stir-fries it in palm oil, and has it delivered to your table. Oh my!

Now, the first plate of squid, cabbage, pak choy and garlic I loaded up came back tainted with oyster sauce - the chef obviously didn't think I knew what I was doing!? How rude! I complained to the waiter, who had me load up another plate - this one came back sugar-free and perfect!


Went back to make up a plate with beef, since it had been a long time - decided to risk a bit of carb with a cherry tomato - it had been a loooong time!


For our last night in Thailand, it was essential to hit the town and buy our gifts! We also hadn't seen the madness of Patong nightlife...

Our first stop was Jungceylon, where we headed downstairs into the 'crafts' section. I bought a beautiful silver flower pendant which I had actually fallen in love with at Pure Silver in Sydney Airport, selling for $250! This Thai store was called P. Silver, and it was EXACTLY the same piece, for $40! Huzzah! (And I know it's genuine because when we landed in Sydney, we went to Pure Silver and had them examine it - fair dinkum!)

I also found lots of 3 for 100 baht nail polish - I decided to stock up on a range of colours so that I could paint flowers on my nails myself back home!


We walked along the infamous Bangla Rd to see all the ladyboys and gogo dancers and hyper-aggressive market stall vendors... We were quickly exhausted though, so we were in our resort-bound tuk-tuk by midnight.


Our final night at the resort - slept like babies, although tinged with sadness...

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 10

Phi Phi Island Day!!

We were up at dawn, and down to the breakfast buffet. I was so sick of widening my carnivore-scope to include animal product other than meat, so I decided to go meat all the way! So that means - bacon. I also found, in the Thai breakfast section, boiled chicken and veg, so I picked out a couple of tasty pieces of chook to make things vaguely interesting.


We hopped into the minivan, and tootled our way up to the marina - a 45 minute drive in heavy rain and wild winds. The weather had me more than a little on edge - the journey to Phi Phi was by speedboat, and I couldn't imagine the oceans being all that calm given the manner by which the palm trees were shaking!

My gut instinct was accurate - upon arrival at the marina, the head of the tour company came out to tell us that the trip was cancelled due to dangerous weather. About turn. Back to the resort, where we called our Flight Centre representative, who informed us that the tour did not run the following day, and as we were flying out late the day after, they were unwilling to book us on the tour that day! Argh!!

So we were back at the resort at 10am - our 6am breakfast was a distant memory, and the buffet was still in action - second breakfast! Hardly any meat left, so I had to turn back to the eggs and dairy, especially when I spotted the brie!


We went back to the massage shack for a foot massage, which I was looking forward to... Weirdly, the girl spend a lot longer rubbing my shins and calves than she did working my feet! And guess where the worst of my sunburn was... OW! Not the most relaxing massage ever.

The beau decided to spend our newly-free day working on his presentation for Web Directions South, so I spent yet another day poolside with a good book.

And then it was up the hill...


Well, the day wasn't the highlight of the trip like it was supposed to be, but it wasn't all that bad really. :)

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 9

Another day of relaxation between tour days. We started off with the usual breakfast -


- and then headed down to one of the massage shacks for a very physical Thai massage! A little painful at times, given that my explanation and display of my sunburnt legs obviously didn't make it over the language barrier. Ow.

Then it was back to the resort for lounging, swimming, and watching movies - finally watched 'The Beach' so that I would know what to ooh and aah over during our tour to Phi Phi Island!

It was Italian Buffet night at the resort, and the beau was keen for some pasta (why won't he learn??) so we went down to check that there was something I could eat. The best options were some stewed meats, so I allowed it even though the chances of sugar and flour in the sauces was considerable. I went for a safe look pork stew, which had a hint of curry and was delicious, and Tyrolienne Beef. Both were delicious!


And once back in our room, I checked some recipes online - looks like the sauces could have been pretty primal! And I was fantasising about the pork stew for the rest of the rip - I couldn't wait to get home and make a batch of my own (which I've now done...)!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 8

A day of lounging by the pool - finally finished reading the utterly amazing Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. The perfect contemporary novel - witty linguistic humour, romantic idealism, graduating into stark, devastating, utterly heart-wrenchingly sad poetry! Ah! Certainly a new author for my list - given the historical context, so favoured by the current Victorian English curriculum, maybe I can work it into a booklist...

Breakfast as usual - bacon, eggs, and a little bit of what I can only assume was swiss cheese...


Skipped lunch (who has time to eat with all the lounging in the sun?), so it was up the hill to Little Tiger for squid in butter - what they hey, how about a couple of prawns?


Ah, eating gorgeous primal seafood at sunset...



And then I noticed that I was still hungry! Not enough butter, apparently. So why not another plate of squid (hold the prawns, they tasted a little funky)?


Amazing, how a day of just eating and reading can still allow one to be snoozing soundly by 9pm! Mmmm... I miss the sleep-ins already!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 7

Tour #2 - Elephant Trekking & White Water Rafting!

Early breakfast before hopping the minivan...


Sunburn was still very tender, so I decided that my best bet was to wear jeans to keep it covered up and protected from the sun, and if I ended up saturated after rafting, they would be like a wearable cold compress!

First up was white water rafting - exhilarating despite the easy level and the relatively short course. And yes, we both ended up soaked through! No photos of course, given the activity. But the next part of the day certainly left plenty of opportunity for happy snaps, courtesy of the guide:


It's hard to look lithe and beautiful when wearing a baseball cap, wet jeans, and clinging to the hand rails attached to the highest point of an elephant!

We fed the elephant some bananas and sugar cane, and then it was back to basecamp for lunch. Another accurate prediction, and again I had to bend my rules to prevent starvation! I picked the seafood out of the soup, as well as eating scrambled eggs (fingers crossed there wasn't anything dodgy in there!) and picking some unadulterated fish from under the sweetness-soaked parts.


Managed to get just enough nutrition to get me through the rest of the tiring day - the weather turned nasty after our elephant trek, but we were still shipped out to the waterfall for a 'swim' - the tiny area was packed with tourists, including Scandinavians in skimpy orange bikinis, so most of us were stuck hovering around the edge of the water, getting drenched by the rain and annoyed by the crowd! Finally it was time to go back to the resort, where it was Seafood BBQ buffet night! It was past dusk by the time we sat down at our outside table, so apologies for the awful photos:



Mmmm, so much BBQ squid, some seafood kebabs, and some "deep fried crab meat and chicken in mussel shells" - yowzah! Special buffet nights at the Merlin Beach Resorts help make up for all the ills of their usual a la carte menu, oh yes! If only they served up squid every night - they would have made me a very happy little carnivore!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 6

Another lazy day, beginning with bacon and an omelette which I could not stomach thanks to the dodgy cheese or nasty oil or something...


Skipped lunch again, and at 6pm we headed into Patong to see what all the fuss was about. Shopping? Check. But we were too early for the nightlife, and I didn't even spot any street vendors until too late. Hunger drove us to a lovely cafe/restaurant on the beach - I think it was called The Boat - where we found tasty Aussie and Thai fare to satisfy us both.

For me - an entree of prawns wrapped in bacon (with ignored sweet chilli sauce):


And then, a big fat NZ steak (or the Thai version of such), served with a few steamed prawns.


Hit up the markets again to buy some skirts, haggled like a demon, and then hopped in a tuk-tuk and made our way back to the resort and to bed - after slathering on the coconut oil, of course!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 5

We wisely chose to spend the day lounging in our room, pouring moisturiser on our legs, whilst watching the entire first season of the amazing, and entirely underrated Slings & Arrows. If you enjoy Canadian comedy, and dig theatre, then you will ADORE this show!

We did make it to the breakfast buffet - oh look, bacon and eggs!


Skipped lunch, then we braved the resort's a la carte restaurant fare once more - surely a mixed grill would be safe, right?


Bacon (real bacon, at least), pork steak, beef, lamb 'chop', and a veal chipolata (ew) - all lean! - served with some foul lukewarm defrosted veggies and horrific 'mashed potato' (veg report courtesy of the beau). So we returned to our room with me barely sated - thankfully the crippling pain kept me occupied!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 4

If childbirth is greater agony than pushing through the stiff, taut, bloated, sunburnt legs the morning after a crippling burn, I have another reason to add to the list!

After wailing and crawling to the bathroom and battling waves of nausea and coating myself with coconut oil, I finally managed to leave the room and make it down for breakfast - bacon and eggs! But a travesty - they removed all the fat from the bacon!!?


The plan was to fill up so that the Sea Cave Canoe tour's provided lunch would be easy to ignore were it unsuitable. That lean bacon didn't make things promising, despite the three eggs...

We were then packed into a minivan and whisked up to the mainland, herded onto a dock, loaded onto a barge, and bobbled over to the ferry upon which we'd be spending the day in between jaunts in inflatable canoes through caves and into hidden lagoons in the centre of a variety of Thai islands. Our guide happily snapped dozens of photos of us (earning his tip, of course), handing the beau the oars to complete the facade of a self-impelled experience.


After a day of floating around, clambering inelegantly in and out of the sopping canoes, lying down in the canoe to avoid the really low rocks in the caves (eeep, claustrophobia alert!), and keeping my sizzling legs covered, the buffet lunch was finally served. I predicted it correctly - lots of exotic Thai treats that were little more than flavoured rice or noodles, a gorgeous fish that was sadly smeared in sweet sauce, and lots of fruit and veg. Frustratingly, the pain of the burns, the disappointing breakfast, and the constant stair-climbing and trying not to fall into the ocean when entering and exiting the canoe all had me ravenous! So I had to go for the least offensive option - fried chicken. I originally picked off the light breading, but some obviously made it into my system, because within minutes I had teeny stabs of pain in my stomach... But on the plus side, my hunger was sated!


The weather took a not-so-unpleasant turn after lunch - as we unloaded on the island where we were to spend an hour of 'recreation', the skies unloaded as well! We were hustled off our beach towels an back into the canoes, but no matter how fast our guides paddled, all were soaked by the time we reached the ferry. I was glad I was wearing my bathing suit under my shirt and sarong!

We returned to the resort, moisturised our burns, and headed up to Little Tiger for a tasty repeat of squid friend in butter - this time with fried garlic as well!


After the exhaustion of the day, and desiring escape from the continuing pain and swelling of sunburn, we both hit the hay nice and early - in fact, pretty much every night throughout the holiday had us drifting off by 9-10pm. Lovely!

Thailand: A Retrospective - Day 3

This day lives on in infamy...

Awoke to perfect weather and a big feed of bacon and eggs. After the ludicrous expense and disappointment of the prior day's lunch, I decided to go back to skipping lunches to cut the frustration.


The 'why didn't I think of it before?' moment was when I started dipping the practically fat-free bacon into the runny egg yolks for some moisture - yum! But so much for one egg per day. Had to let that one go early in the vacation!

Then it was off to Tri Trang Beach, the larger, relatively shallow beach just a short walk north of the resort. We hired a couple of chairs and an umbrella, and stretched out in the shade to lap up the warmth in between dips in the crystal clear, warm water. We also wandered up and down the length of the beach, where the beau had his glasses stolen briefly by one of the monkeys leashed beside one of the bars. Hilarity.

After we rounded out our second hour under our umbrella, we decided it was time to head back to our room to escape the utterly perfect heat. But as we relaxed in front of some Stephen Colbert we both noticed an unpleasant prickling sensation on our legs... and our shoulders... and various other places... Sunburn! Epic umbrella fail! After applying coconut oil, the only moisturiser I packed, we covered up and sat out of the deck to read and feel sorry for ourselves.

At dinnertime, we returned to Tri Trang Beach (the scene of the crime) as we had read the tantalising menu of the Tri Trang Restaurant during the afternoon. The waiter wasn't quite as obliging as the Little Tiger waitress when I asked for mussels sans sauce, and crab fried in butter sans sauce, but the end product was very nice, and still quite affordable (for Thailand - cheap as chips for Australia!):



I love how angry the top crab looks! Oh, and I ate everything with my hands, prompting the staff to bring me a finger bowl - win!

We were both suffering from our sunburns, and little did we know that the pain that evening paled in comparison to the agony that would accompany us for the next few days...