Saturday, March 26, 2011

I'm Still Here!

I can't believe that it has been a month - a MONTH! - since my last post! Time flies when you're being worked to the bone and doing your best to make relaxing use of any and all downtime! I only have time for a brief post today (the backlog of recipes will have to wait!) but I wanted to check in. :)

The b*tchy blogosphere - has anyone else noticed how desperately depressing and negative the blogging circles have become lately? I have 700+ posts sitting in my rss reader that I can't seem to make any dent into, since I keep hitting these cynical and peer-sabotaging posts from the most surprising of sources. Blog reading used to be a relaxing and exciting passtime - now it tends to be another stress that I should do my best to live without. I don't feel like I'm missing much though, since most of the half-decent posts are about topics I already know about, or have surpassed in my own learning. One of the only blogs I'm keeping pace with is Matt Stone's 180 Metabolism, since some provocative statements have been coming out of there of late! I still love blogs where the quality of the comments draws you back for more.

Following on from that, I had a backlog of unpublished comments to approve, and found some ZC nutjob screaming at my PCO post, telling me that the amount of protein I was eating was too much (and where exactly did they get my quantity info? Not even I could tell you that number...), and and that same time I should be eating more beef and lean fish, plus lots of fat... Nice. Great that these 'anonymous' commenters take the time and effort to read all of my blog so they can make such helpful comments ;)

Now, I am still mid-experiment when it comes to what I'm eating lately - I'm trying to nourish my body as well as my mind, which means continuing to step off the orthorex-pedal and lessen the stress. I'm fatter than I think I have ever been in my life - my muffin-top is more of a full loaf - but my face is still more slender than it was 5 years ago. Everything else is generally blorpy. I've been buying more fat clothes so that I don't have to put myself through the pain of ill-fitting clothing every morning. While I'm not about to make my peace with being this fat, I'm trying not to think about it whilst still monitoring some other health markers. I'm not going anywhere near scales though - I don't think I've been on one at all this year. Anyroad, the image that is developing is that I will need to be very careful about hormonal balance when it comes to my body, metabolic processes and fertility, so I have a bit of a path worked out so that  I can sustainably pursue the shedding of excess fat without shocking my system, etc. I'm totally drug-free, even though this means my damaged nerve ending will stay damaged for a while yet, and possibly become more sensitive as time goes on.

Now for something entirely stream-of-consciousness:

I've been making popcorn in a cast iron crock pot, with coconut oil and raw butter! It makes me feel so retro! :)

I have broken my 11-year make-up habit and have pared my routine back to just a finely buffed layer of mineral powder by Bare Minerals. A touch of eye, and I'm good to go. I also now own nine pairs of prescription eyewear, so I can still add some visual interest to my face without straying into drag queen territory. My skin is thanking me! My summer tan has worn off, so it's time to take out the blonde lights in my hair - my project for today! Even the natural dyes stink though - blech...I'm a theatre baby though - I love dressing up!

I'm noticing a very strong force of satiety hitting me during or after meals of late. On primal/paleo/carnivore WOEs I would feel satisfied, but not like I would throw up if I kept eating. And I don't mean 'stuffed' in either case. It's very interesting to me. I've also found that my body really doesn't like the prospect of eating meat lately, although once it is cooked and I'm tasting it, I love it. I feel a bit ill some mornings and late-afternoons, suggesting blood glucose fluctations or something, so I think I'll go invest in a BG tester and have a look at what's going on there. Some days I'm not interested in food til after work; others, I feel like I'll collapse or chuck unless I get something down before school. I've followed the insulin theories and the Matt Stone theories, but my responses haven't lined up well with either, so it's time for bloodwork I reckon. I still eat mostly whole-foods, so I tend not to blame my diet just yet... We'll see!

The school play is in full-swing and I've been spending a lot of time working on the music. It's a huge job but I love it!

Last weekend, my family stayed in Daylesford, in a luxury holiday house that had a room for each of the three couples, and one for the cat ;) We went horse riding on the Saturday - I had to ride in my Vibram KSOs since they didn't have boots for us, like most trail riding places do. It was lovely to wear them and feel the horse's flank more clearly; however, my saddle was too small to cater for my extra thigh blorp and consequently I was in a lot of pain when it came time to canter and I had to try and grip the horse with my legs. Ick. On the Sunday, I took my jewellery to the Daylesford Sunday Market and spent the day (including far too many pre-dawn hours) showing off my stuff to folks wandering between junk stalls and carnival food trailers. I sold quite a bit though, and it was nice to see people finding pieces they really like and trying them on. It's much nicer to see how pieces will look in person than dealing with the mystery of Internet purchases, for seller and buyer! Market stalls are a lot of preparation, cost and work though, but if I didn't work full-time I could image doing the market circuit... Now to set up at a market in the city..!

Despite all my time commitments, my kitten still rules my world. :)

I had better leave it there - lots of essay to mark, and I'd like to get them all done today so that I can go and participate in a massive dance 'performance' (more like 'interactive event') in the city tonight. Should be fun!

Hope all is well in your world and that you're finding the fun!

18 comments:

Richard said...

Have always enjoyed your blog. Have you read the Perfect Health Diet? Interesting approach (I don't have anything to do with the authors!):
http://perfecthealthdiet.com/

Tawnee Prazak said...

Oh man, don't ya get a kick out of "anonymous" commenters who hide behind their computer screens to talk ish? Geez.

I enjoy your blog... keep 'em coming!

Jezwyn said...

Thanks Richard. Yes, I read the PHD blog. It's essentially the whole-food lovechild of the ideologies behind paleo and Matt Stone's ideas, combined and purified, with added pre- and pro-biotics :)

Thanks Tawnee! I don't really understand the compulsion to remain anonymous - it's not like a username necessarily tells us anything about your real world identity! Still, it's easier to delete those than the trolls that come with names and compliments before unleashing their brand of closed mindedness. If only closed minds also came with closed mouths...

darc said...

Welcome Back, Jezwyn...I missed you!

Oh, your comment, "If only closed minds also came with closed mouths", this is classic...honestly I think I'm going to put it on a t-shirt, maybe a bumber sticker...of course, I'll credit the Girl Gone Primal. ;)

I feel your frustration re the "full loaf". Lately I've been thinking that, the more I read, study and experiment toward a healthier weight the more my body finds ways to dig in and hang on to the precious fat. It's maddening!

Anyway, looking forward to your updates when you find time.
Darc

Jeff said...

perfect health.. grrr

Sorry feeling a little primal. Love your blog. Thanks for writing up all those tasty meals..

defeat the muffintop! Fat clothes are for people who eat too many carbs! You are awesome and powerful and a killer.

my one bit of closedmindedness, before fading back in to readerdom. You might lose fat if you were to spark your musculature with a few eggs, or some steak, within an hour of waking up.

not my place to say. Thanks for your blog!

Jeff

Jezwyn said...

Thanks guys :)

Jeff, I don't know how long you've been reading, but I started gaining my weight back whilst I was still in the middle of my two years of perfectly primal eating. I used to eat eggs and bacon, sometimes steak or lamb chops, for breakfast every day. It did nothing to quell the fat gain. I also have lower lean mass than I did pre-primal, though I'm still muscly given my body type. Fat clothes are also for people who are carnivorous, it seems in my case. I lost weight eating only meat and eggs, then I gained weight eating only meat and eggs. I also lost my fertility eating that way. Metabolic and other hormonal processes complicate issues.

Seriously, I think I'll just have to start deleting comments that try to "solve" my issues, especially since I've been in this game for a long time and read EVERYTHING. I self-experiment like a champ. Do what works for you. Leave the rest of us alone.

Jezwyn said...

(And I hope that last comment comes across as intended - frank and informative, not harsh nor b*tchy.) :)

darc said...

yet another t-shirt: "Do what works for you. Leave the rest of us alone." lovin' it, and you, Jezwyn. :-)

Frank Hagan said...

I couldn't agree more about the "bitchiness" in blogs today. I have unsubscribed to some because of that. But it was good to see another post from you! Definitely low on the bitchiness scale! ;)

Humans are complex creatures, and there can be so many more factors than just diet to why we gain weight, how we feel, etc.

You may be a victim of the recent "flat belly" ideal in beauty when worrying about your "muffin top". You only have to look at Marilyn Monroe's Playboy pics (edited so its safe for work!) in 1955 to see how much our definition of beauty has changed. She was considered the most beautiful woman in America at that time, and by today's standards, she's fat.

Anyway, I think you're on the right track to focus on health, and let things follow from that. I like the honesty in your blog.

Jezwyn said...

Gosh Frank, if you think I only have Marilyn Monroe's tiny little bit of belly softness, my euphemistic use of 'muffin top' has deceived you totally! Monroe doesn't have a muffin-top - a muffin top is the bulge of fat that hangs over the sides (and sometimes the front) of an overweight girl's knicker/pants. I only wear skirts to try and smooth out the bulge between my 'waist' (not that it's in the right place anymore, way too high thanks the the blorp), over the smaller section around my actually hips, and out to my thighs.

I would hope by now that you realise that I am a realist! I'm under no body dysmorphic illusion - I'm just 15-20kg fatter than I was when I took my bikini photo in Sept '09. If I looked like Marilyn and was whinging about being fat, there would be something terribly wrong (or just vain) going on.

Joe Coffee said...

Jezwyn, I have been reading your blog for about 2 years now, and I really have to say that I am impressed with your honesty. I am jealous, however, that you live in Australia. Here in America, Australians are like Utopians. Everybody loves Australia!

Not dissimilarly to you, after a while on a primal diet I seem to have hit a plateau, and lately (gasp!) seem to be putting on weight. I'm wondering if perhaps there is an optimum level of carbs, above or below which our bodies tend to stockpile adipose.

In any case, please keep up the great posts with pics of your food and the great commentary.

Robert J. Stone

Nora said...

I am relatively new to the whole Paleo thing (3 months exactly). I think it is extremely helpful to have someone post on the struggles with health problems (& weight issues) that do not all melt away before the paleo/primal/carnivore sunlight. I am happy for those people for whom this is the effect, but that is by no means the effect on everyone EVEN WHEN they are virtually orthorexic. So keep up the reporting. (and I very much like your recipes/food pix).

Kriegs said...

I miss your posts and look forward to more in the future.

Nastia said...

Glad to see you back! I've been recommending your blog to people looking for paleo information lately, and I'm happy you're posting again. Good luck with blood tests.

HannahLhea said...

I thought that popcorn wasn't allowed in paleo..?
I love your site and recipes!
I am new to blogging and such, do you have a Facebook? I do not have Twitter nor enjoy it.
Looking forward to the next 2011 entry! :)

Rae said...

Just as a thought..

your 'localized' weight gain could tie to your PCO....alot of us have that issue...yay for crappy screwed up hormones!

Glad to see you back...I love your blog, thank you for such a great resource!

Jezwyn said...

Thank you for the comments!

Joe, I've gained, maintained and lost weight on a wide variety of different carb intakes. I now tend not to worry so much about carbs but focus on metabolism, and the particular foods and lifestyle choices which impact metabolic function. Carbs seem to help the metabolism, whereas even Atkins noted that long-term low carbing can have deleterious metabolic effects. At the same time, we've seen raw, wholefood vegans pack on the pounds... I don't think focusing on macronutrients holds relevance to many dietetic experts anymore. I'll be interested to see the results of the current hyper-calorie studies. Long-term diet studies have shown that all hypocaloric diets fail eventually, resulting in minimal or no retained fat loss. I'm involved in self-experimentation right now, so we'll see how that goes.

Hi Hannah! Trying to be perfectly 'paleo' (by whose definition?) in the face of increased health woes and fat gain is what f***ed up my attitude to food. Also, since I'm currently looking at how higher starch intake can help my insulin resistance (and it is working, despite my expectations laid out by low-carb gurus), whole starches like corn are good choices, especially when I cook it in coconut oil. I don't eat much (not much rice or potatoes either, but they're in the mix now), but they're having good effects on my metabolism without negative blood glucose impact.

Hi Rae,

I don't have PCO anymore. My cycle came back late last year, when my fat stores were back to pre-Primal levels and I gave up my dedicated avoidance of grain and sugar. It's not so much 'fat localisation' but just more fat whereas my past weight was also partially muscular and had been amassed over a longer period of time, meaning my skin elasticity was used to supporting the blorp.

Ashley Smith said...

Hi there!

I hope you don't mind me popping in and asking a few questions cause it sounds like you've been where I've been, and I wanted to get your thoughts.

I went low carb Primal too for awhile and lost my cycle. So then I went Zero Carb for awhile in an attempt to retrieve it. Nada. So then I did a mixture of Clomid and gained a bunch of my weight back binging on junk food. In the midst of that I got h. pylori and a fructose food intolerance (i.e.- fodmap). I did eventually go back primal and low fodmap due to the intolerance with starches. My cycle came back, but I've heard of Clomid treating HA, so I'm not really sure if it was the Clomid or the starches that made my cycle come back.

Now my question to you is, have you experimented with your iodine intake? I have heard a few rumors around the Internet saying that the reason Primal women and low carb women lose their cycles is due to lack of iodine because when we ate unhealthy we got all of our iodine needs met by our salt intake in processed foods since it's usually iodized salt in processed foods.

I'm hoping that perhaps iodine supplementation would 1.)ramp up the metabolism, 2.) balance hormones and give the ovaries what they need for ovulation, and 3.) allow for weightloss on whatever plan because starches weren't really the answer.

The only problem I'm having with this equation is the people who get their cycle back after gaining weight and adding starches....how would that ramp up iodine intake enough to justify that was the reason for the cycle loss in the first place? Or perhaps it's a one or the other situation...maybe either would work?

Anyways, thanks for your thoughts!